


Let It Go

by ARGentLady



Category: Frozen (2013)
Genre: F/F, Family, Fluff, Love
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-04-04
Updated: 2014-04-04
Packaged: 2018-01-18 02:43:12
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,289
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1411993
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ARGentLady/pseuds/ARGentLady
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Elsa tries to accept and control her powers. Elsa's view on having Anna stay at Arendelle is questioned and a discussion arises over how Elsa will be accepted back as Queen. Fluff.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Let It Go

_I do not own characters. Please enjoy, comments appreciated._

 

Elsa was running again, though she would never admit it. She wondered bitterly if she would ever stop running, or if it would become a reoccurring habit. The footsteps she left behind made an icy trail that would always be her tell over regressing. She tried to ignore the panic that swirled around her like a raging wind. At least this time, it stayed internal and was something she could control. Her powers flickered to the surface, but remained at bay. Anna’s shout of alarm slowed her retreating steps.

“Elsa, stop hiding from me. We’ve talked about this. You promised, remember?”

“I know. I’m sorry Anna.” But she was still non-committal, nor willingly forthcoming. Prying information from Elsa was like pulling teeth that weren’t loose. She held her feelings so close to the vest.

“Elsa, be honest, please. What do you want? Why do you always shut down from me, even still-?” Elsa began to cut her off in protest, but Anna surprised her by taking the elder’s right hand in hers in order to remove the barrier of the glove. The naked hand was guided to rest on Anna’s cheek, a gesture that was sweet and disarming. Though Elsa said nothing to give her feelings away, her face and movements became tense immediately. Anna was not convinced that it was from the surprise of the action.

“Why are you scared of me Elsa?” Elsa looked bombarded by her questions, but quickly regained her mannerisms and queenly composure. She turned away from Anna and stared at the wall of the library, so that she could avoid looking Anna in the eye. Her affection for Anna was more guarded then, practiced, and formal. The cooling temperature made Anna shiver.

“Elsa, it’s just me. Don’t shut me out again. Be brave and just spit it out.” Finally, narrowed eyes met hers in response, containing swirling emotions that Anna could understand and recognize as heat, frustration, and fight. She felt as though she were more equipped to deal with them than an ice that was unpredictable and hidden.

“Anna, stop badgering me. I’m a coward, alright! Are you happy now?” She brushed her finger over Anna’s hair, contrary to her harsh statement, until she put her discarded glove back in its rightful place. Elsa’s composure was back.

“Please, forgive me. Let me start over. I want what’s best for you. I want whatever it is that you want. And I think I’m still afraid of hurting you. It’s a habit, I guess. I’m afraid I’ll overstep and lose you somehow. I’m sorry I ran. I’ll be better,” Elsa tried to explain her actions. Anna ignored Elsa’s stiff back and appropriate mannerisms of space, coming into Elsa’s arms like a force of nature, knocking them off their feet and onto a nearby leather chair.

“Anna,” Elsa’s sharp use of her name was meant to be scolding, but a laugh hid behind it. The truth was that Elsa liked Anna’s mischievous mannerisms, despite often reprimanding her with examples of appropriate behaviors a princess should have.

“You can’t keep acting like you’re on eggshells around me,” Anna insisted, “You can’t keep worrying that you will upset me or hurt me. I don’t want to be placed on this pedestal of yours or for you to feel obligated towards me so much so that you can’t be yourself. All I want, Elsa, is for you to be you; and I will be glad to see it. It won’t push me away. You don’t always have to make sacrifices, Elsa.” Elsa’s head snapped up to look at Anna in shock. When did Anna become so wise and philosophical? Elsa felt as though the other was reading her mind. It was exactly what she needed to hear. Elsa tried not to think of their proximity as uncomfortable and was able to enjoy the moment more as she allowed herself to relax and enjoy Anna’s attention and care. She sunk into the warmth. She cursed herself for ruining a good thing earlier.

The sisters had been ice skating and talking, trying to catch up on lost time. Elsa guided Anna from behind with a hand on each hip, as Anna was still wobbly on her skates, until they found a graceful rhythm, which was something like dancing and gliding. Anna had her on a training and practice regiment for her powers and for her to express herself and her powers more freely. Elsa was severely responsible with her power even in play after all that had happened, but she worried less, able to trust it and herself and her steady state of emotions so that she could enjoy the beauty in her _ability_. And that was just it! Slowly, she had come to see her power as an ability rather than as a curse. But all of that was routed in one thing, one reason that made it all happen: Anna.

Unfortunately, Anna had accidently touched a nerve, whether it was physical or a reminder of a past event, Elsa found she couldn’t remember what it was except for the feelings that were created in response. Elsa’s shock had taken away their ice, so that they splashed into the pond that they had been using. Elsa had run off in embarrassment and with anger at herself. Lying together like this, it seemed like it had happened ages ago and was such a trivial thing. Anna nuzzled her lips against Elsa’s to soothe her. Elsa felt how they trembled in cold from the water still soaking the younger’s dress. The Queen pulled Anna into a tight embrace in order to carry her like a koala to deposit the princess in a chair in front of the fireplace in the library.

“You knew where to find me,” she commented with a smirk. Without waiting for an answer, Elsa continued, “I’ll make a fire.” After a few moments of stacking wood and prodding at flames in order to make them grow, Elsa came back to sit with Anna in her lap. She didn’t know how it started, but the words just came and wouldn’t stop. She felt open to sharing in this intimate and trusting environment they had created.

“Ice skating today made me reflect on things that happened the first time we opened the gates on my coronation day. I didn't want things to change. I didn't want you to leave, but I knew, deep down, you would want to at one point or another. When you asked me to bless your union with Hans- I couldn't do it. I felt foolishly betrayed, and I'm sorry. You deserved to see the world, to have what you wanted, to enrich yourself and find love and enjoy adventures and beautiful things, while I kept us secluded and in the dark. I made a cage for myself in order to protect you, but all I did was imprison you with me. You didn't deserve my fate, Anna, and yet you stood by me and never once feared me or hated me even after I lost my control. I need you to believe in me when I say I wanted you to have everything, but not with a manipulative and cowardly man. But I wonder, deep down, if it was due to Han's treachery that I didn't want to see you go or because I felt something more for you. And now, I can't let you down again. It is your choice Anna. Now that I know that you were born to be in sunlight, now that I've seen the world through your eyes and all the good it could do for you, I don't want to leave it either. I want to make you happy. No door will separate us, and no more locked gates. You will have everything. I promise.”

Elsa never lied and always kept her word. It would be easier, in the past, if she had. But it meant the world to Anna. But what did this mean for them? 

"Elsa, what choice is there for me to make?” Elsa stared hard at the flames and ignored Anna’s questioning gaze of admiration.

“Leaving Arendelle. Leaving me, for a better life. With whomever you wished. I wanted to give you the option.” Anna blinked in shock and hurried to show her loyalties in alarm,

“I won't leave your side, nor the kingdom’s. We are family." How could Elsa even think she would want something more than this? Nothing was better than having Elsa, this strong, loving, and genius monarch, who had returned to her. Anna held fiercely to family after the passing of their parents. Elsa felt the ice around her heart crack. 

"I know Anna. But I have set up a trust fund for you so your every need will be provided if you so choose to leave. As much as I had struggled with the responsibility of the throne at such an early age, it is my destiny and I will not desert my people. As a ruler, I will do my duty. As your sister and true love, I insist you go where your heart desires and explore. Know that there is no where I would rather be, but by your side. I never thought I would have to choose. I'm sorry, but I cannot accompany you yet. One day-.” Elsa cut herself off.

“You're staring,” Elsa commented, her speech going out the window. “Am I that unfortunate looking? You don't like this idea, do you?”

“I’m sorry; your head was growing too big for the rest of you. I was distracted.” Elsa smirked at the comment, but glared in confusion at the angered tone. Why was Anna worked up?

“This plan you have concocted, your majesty, was made without a thought as to actually asking me,” Anna’s tone eased into mild bitterness and scolding. “I know you mean the best for me but this isn't what I want Elsa. I love exploring, but what I love more is you. My place and my home are here with you, the person I love most. And what is the worth of the things I could come across without having you to share them with?” Anna’s hands were placed into Elsa’s.

“I guess I wasn’t thinking. It’s just, there’s so much going on here in Arendelle, with the Kingdom still trying to get used to having me as their Queen and my powers. I thought you could use that time,” Elsa bit back a sigh and kept her features controlled. Deep down, she felt relief.

“I don’t want it. I’m going to be by your side to convince them you deserve the throne. And I know you do. You’ve been bred for it your whole life. There’s no one who could take your place and be Arendelle’s Queen as well as you. They can’t touch your loyalty and love. Your people will come to see that, Elsa. I promise they will see you the way I do. Elsa, they will love you once again. How couldn’t they?” Anna bowed her head to offer a formal showing of respect, which made Elsa blush.

“It’s going to take some time for them. It’s still strange for me to accept,” Elsa admitted, though she was slightly more hopeful by Anna’s kind words, even if that was all they were. The merit stood in past actions, which she reminded Anna, “I know you're still cold Anna. I can still feel my powers, how they linger on you and have hurt you. It must have hurt you, you were a warm, lively thing, and then you were solid, a sculpture of ice. You know what it means to be a statue. And to return as gloriously as you had, it must have been like- like- coming back to life. Like dying and being rebirthed. I'm sorry, for forever plaguing you and that you had to sacrifice yourself for me. So I can’t blame our subjects for not trusting me over what I’ve done if even I’m still working on trusting myself with you. I may never earn their loyalties and respect again.”

“I'm sorry you feel that way,” Anna tried, though she didn’t agree. “But for me, it just gave us the chance to get to know each other again, to spend our lives together. And being brought back by your love, Elsa, and having a continual supply of it, it's all my wishes granted. Elsa, strangely enough, you're the only one who makes me feel warm again. And I’ll never regret saving you. Arendelle will be proud of you, I know it. I am.”

“It could have been yours, you know: the throne, everything,” Elsa whispered instead of responding to Anna, showing her respect and fondness for Anna and her loyal nature. The comment was somehow charming after the initial confusion and bite had worn off. Anna shook her head.

“I had to bring you back. I am not what is best for Arendelle. I deserted it; I picked you over the kingdom. You still get as red as a tomato over that.”

“I’m sorry you had to do that and that I made you make that choice. I’m still ashamed. And, yes, of course I do! It was irresponsible! And dangerous! But nothing compared to what I did. I know that’s a double standard, so I’ll try to get over it. If you hadn’t, if things hadn’t turned out the way they had, I wouldn’t be here today. Most importantly, I wouldn’t have you, my knight in shining armor. I wouldn’t have my control or my love back or my honor. I have you to thank -.”

“I love you,” Anna blurted out over Elsa’s words. “And I’m sorry this all had to happen to you, that you had to go through so much hurt and hiding. I wish mother and father would have-.”

“I see. Shh,” Elsa soothed, “They did what they thought was the right thing to do, Anna.” Elsa smiled at her slowly, conflicting emotions of comfort and past hurts making lazy, plump, and luxurious flakes of snow float above their heads gently. What had won out over these feelings was reassuring Anna, and knowing that Anna never wanted her sister/beloved to ever hide from her again. At Anna’s request, Elsa had agreed to express herself more and open herself up to Anna. It was still difficult sometimes when her emotions were complicated and conflicting and weren't easily distinguishable. 

Sighing, but smiling, Elsa accepted a chaste, but surprising kiss from Anna, thought she did not feel worthy of the other’s loyalty and affection. She knew Anna was making a sacrifice for her by not seeking her freedom and her chance to explore outside of Arendelle. Elsa would repay her. Elsa's thoughts ran off with an idea that had just birthed over what gift she could share with Anna. The possibility had not occurred to her that maybe she could be what Anna needed. Maybe she wouldn't hold her back, but could gift a situation that could give them both what they wanted. 

“Anna, would you like to spend the day with me tomorrow? I’ll move some meetings and duties around and hold off on some matters.” The suggestion was tentative, unsure. Anna was struck. Elsa had never done such a thing before.

“You would take the day off for me and skip out on Queenly duties,” Anna asked, only half-teasing, squealing with happiness as she gripped the Queen’s arms. Elsa’s pale skin, which matched the moon’s light, would likely bruise. Elsa didn’t mind enough to break the hold. She liked being marked as Anna’s.

“I won’t tell if you don’t. You were always a trouble-making influence on me. I’m glad some things never change,” Elsa whispered as if conspiring as she wiggled her eyebrows and tickled Anna’s sides.

“Of course. I can’t wait for us to get into mischief. Can you imagine how much trouble I got into without you? With you, I’ll be unstoppable!” Anna cackled for dramatic effect.

“You’re incorrigible,” Elsa’s laugh warmed Anna’s ears pleasantly, before she turned serious again.

“There’s another matter I should tell you, since I promised not to keep things from you. My advisors came to me with some letters. Arendelle has been getting threats for having me on the throne. They’re mostly directed to me about assassination if I don’t revoke my privilege and step down.” Elsa watched as Anna bristled and she became territorial, just as Elsa thought she might do. She sighed as Anna protested and made biting and snarky comments at an invisible enemy to defend Elsa’s right, dignity, and life. She then turned on Elsa,

“You are not giving into threats or giving up that throne. Is that why you were going to send me away? What an opportune time for a vacation,” Anna snapped sarcastically.

“Anna, stop,” came the royal command and not request. When silence filled the room Elsa continued, “Yes and no. I meant what I said before, that reason is still true. But it wouldn’t hurt to keep you out of harm’s way, just as a precaution. The threat likely has no weight to it. You shouldn't have to protect me Anna. It's my battle to fight and I don't want you putting yourself in danger again. I am more than capable of defending myself. I'm getting better at not seeing my powers as a curse but as a gift, as a part of who I am, thanks to you, and I swear I’ll use them to the best of my ability in order to fight defensively. Still, I am not afraid to die.”

“I wish you didn't say things like that. But it's befitting of a queen; - a _drama_ queen,” Anna sighed, exasperated. Elsa sharply poked her in warning.

“Fighting is not what we are meant to do on our own. That doesn't mean I would let anyone steal from me this existence with you, my rightful place. I will defend us to the end and I will win if it comes to that. Trust in me and my motives. There is no cost I wouldn't pay for your happiness. And I know that my life is precious to you. I won't waste it. That's why I tried to send you off; in case something happened to me - in case I couldn't protect us. But neither of us wants to be separate of the other. At least this way I will always be able to keep an eye on you and have you near and know that you are safe. Stay close to me these few days, I beseech you. I'll try not to be insufferable company.” Elsa’s voice was buttery soft, convincing, appealing, and conveniently disarming.

The disagreements Anna had died on the tip of her tongue as Elsa pressed up behind her and connected their hands. In response to this connection, Elsa allowed her magic to the surface. Her fingers felt a familiar buzz that didn’t trigger fear, but something much more pleasant. Just as planned, a light sheen of magic and snowflakes swirled around their conjoined hands, which they then pointed and extended before them in an effort to allow Anna to connect, understand, and have the chance to yield her powers in order to create. Anna murmured sweet nothings as snowflakes flew like sparks, creating a beautiful diamond show before their eyes.

“Your company is never insufferable,” Anna answered, captivated by what danced and glittered before her. The underlying message of agreement to Elsa’s request made Elsa smile. They had both been able to gift each other a part of themselves.

 


End file.
